Stop Divorce After Separation

You may have been experiencing problems in your marriage up to the point of having a temporary or trial separation so now you will be asking yourself how to stop divorce after separation.

If you and your spouse are no longer talking to each other or if you are sleeping apart, maybe even one or both of you has been unfaithful or if simply for some reason you just can’t seem to make your marriage work then you might be considering divorce as an option. Sometimes however, one or both partners doesn’t feel deep down that divorce is the right thing to do and that one or both spouses feels that they still have feelings enough for the other to attempt a reconciliation. is it possible to stop divorce?

Separation doesn’t necessarily have to lead to divorce… in fact it can sometimes be the first step on the route to reconciliation and eventually leading to an even better marriage. To be separated and to remain married isn’t easy at all but for some couples it is the right thing to do and may be just what is needed for each spouse to realize who they are as individuals, who their partner is and a little of what their true deep down feelings for their partner are.
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For an effective reconciliation after separation you may use the following guidelines;

  • Discuss with each other the real issues of the separation with complete honesty. Honesty can actually come easier at this point as both spouses might feel that things cannot get any worse and they have nothing to lose more than is already lost, therefore the truth can be expressed with less fear.
  • If things tend to get heated and arguments ensue then you should consider enrolling the service of an objective counselor.
  • You should schedule regular times to have these discussions, say once a week. Each time you should try to sort out one issue only as there are probably many factors in the marriage which need discussion and it is easy to get overwhelmed and mix up the issues casting blame for one thing on the actions of a different issue. Keep to the ‘agenda’ as much as you can to try and help clarify your issues one at a time…. it will be quite enlightening to see the issues without the clouding of all the other aspects which may have been creeping in.
  • If you have been seeing other people then you should stop this before attempting to reconcile your marriage. Tell the person that you have decided to work on your marriage and do not have further contact with them. This is especially important when there are children involved in the separation.
  • The separation time is not really a good time for you to be dating other either. It is a time for healing and reflection. Your emotional energy should be directed towards your marriage and not towards starting new relationships or affairs.
  • You should whilst alone try to see what part of the marriage troubles were due to you and your actions. It is never entirely the fault of one spouse alone… do not keep laying the blame. Try to admit some of your faults in the marriage too.
  • Consider which of your words, habits or actions may have hurt your partner and take responsibility for them.

Whilst alone you will be able to see more clearly the bad habits and actions that may have been ruining your marriage and in your time of separation you can work on making them better.

You should be aware that it is definitely possible to stop divorce after separation as many couples successfully achieve this.

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